Not many days past I shared with you this heartwarming story of triumph. Like an underground railroad for the insect community I transported that dear bug across the city lines, liberating it from its oppressive environment and relocating it to its place of destiny. And all was right with the world. At least that is what my simplistic mind believed.
My naivete was cruelly shattered this weekend. It seems the call for retaliation had went out in the bug community and a hit was ordered. Saturday afternoon found me in the front yard, innocently watering my hosta. I should have been viewed as a saviour. One hundred plus degree temperatures make water a precious commodity and here was I, raining it down upon plant and insect alike, parting the windows of heaven to bring this life giving substance. The afternoon bliss was shattered when my enemies took this opportunity to strike and one of their number stung me quickly and forcefully in the index toe of my left foot. It all happened so quickly that I did not get a good view of my attacker.
Stinging soon turned to swelling and I spent the better part of Saturday evening with a very sore, very swollen foot. The soreness has went away but the swelling remains.
Showing remarkable moxie I got up Sunday morning and returned to the neighborhood of the crime. I swear I could here the laughter of my invisible assailant so I took the opportunity to send a message of my own and killed a very large mafioso-type spider crawling along the wall of the house. I won’t be intimidated.
Though expecting to wake up with the head of a grasshopper in my bed, this morning proved uneventful. Begun, this Insect War has…..
just be wary of incurring so much insect wrath that they send the fireant brigade after you. trust me on this one…
I thought at first it might have been a fireant but upon reading symptom info and talking to a nurse I’m thinking it might have been a hornet. Either way it sucks!
I’m feel sorry for you, really I do but reading your account of such an unwarranted attack left me laughing uncontrollably. I also feel this might be some kind of coordinated attack by the bug community against us all because on Saturday ANTS sent a small brigade into my kitchen. Keri and I fought them back on Saturday and again on Sunday. Today both sides of this struggle observe a day of rest. We shall see tomorrow if our continues. 🙂
Obviously the bug you assisted in its escape was fleeing the underground crime-bug-lords. Trouble is, they’ve now discovered that you were instrumental in the daring breakout and dash for a new life. This could not go unpunished, a message had to be sent.
Just be glad you didn’t help an informer out.
Further proof that the game is afoot is that we have a similar ant problem in the house that has gone on for a week or more. Our empty threats proved meaningless so Mary went to the local weapons dealer and got some ant poison. Upon arriving home she discovered that the ants were in hiding. Its been two days and they are laying low. They’re cunning. The war is being waged on all fronts.
Sorry about the Hornet attack ,Carl. Boy, that’s a shocker to get stung,huh?? I usually itch and swell several days after the event. Your story is quite hilarious! It made me laugh. I think my humungus ugly toad that has lived in our garden for the last four years is keeping our bug population under control!! Boy is he an ugly one!! He is camoflaged in the ground and loves jumping out at me when I get to close to him of course the neighbors get to hear my bloodcurdling screams!! Hope your toe is feeling better!! Mom
Ouch! Did you put a paste of baking soda and water on it? That takes the sting out.
I got stung, twice on my back, a couple of weeks ago. It really hurt. They’re out to get us! I still have an itchy little scab.
A couple of years ago, I was trying to weed that messy area by my patio. Up from the ground came an angry creature. It flew staight up in the air and back down toward my head. I held my arm up to shield my face and it thumped my wrist and stung me good. It was so agressive. It must have been a mom protecting her nest. I can understand her fury. Don’t get between a mom and her kids! Obviously, she won. I haven’t tried to weed that spot since. It’s a good excuse!
Poor Carl, it really did look awful. We were at Abby and Mike’s last night; I don’t know which was worse, Carl’s swollen toe (and top of his foot), or Mike’s torn off toe nail from his fall down the stairs.
I’d make a joke about Mike but then Fate would intervene and I would most likely tumble down my own stairs and break my leg or something.
For all it’s worth, I’m mentally on your side. But try to keep that information safe: I wouldn’t survive reprisals – and even if I did, my sanity would probably have to be sacrificed.
How come you didn’t show us your battle wounds Sunday night, Carl?
Mike didn’t show his! 🙂
Those buggy bastards! Squish first, flick the carcass later…
Should I be nit-picky and remind you that spiders are not insects? 😉
That said….I HATE BUGS! I hope you win the war!
No nit picky-ness allowed! The majority of the bugs involved in this melee are indeed insects so they all are gonna get lumped together in this one.
If I am attacked by any sort of bug, if I am bitten, in fact, if I merely seen anything fly by, I am blaming you buddy.
Hey Carl? Was the swelling enough to let you shop in the men’s section for shoes?
Jay, I don’t know how good the bug network is but I apologize beforehand for any attacks.
James…cute…very cute!…Jerk! 🙂
Sorry that u got bitten but, its a good story the way u tell it.
If we can’t laugh at our own pain….well, then we can’t laugh at the pain of others! 🙂
I love the way you write – very creative! I remember the bug wars… since I’ve moved to the NW USA, the only buggers I have had to deal with are spiders. Which is why I over nuke the house. :0)
Thanks for visiting the other day – I enjoyed your comments.
One thing I like about this country…the bugs are small and in general painless! Hope the bite goes away soon!
I did notice that a bug hung on to my windshield yesterday all the way to HWY 291 where it mysteriously left at the stop light. Those of you familiar with the area will note that the bug was now in the same town where Carl works…coincidence? I don’t think so…
Oh great! Now I have to look forward to another retaliation this coming weekend….anyone have any steel toed boots and a welder’s mask I can borrow while I mow the lawn?