With obvious nods to several video games, films of unrepentant violence both old and new, and a staunch pro-vegetable stance, Shoot ‘Em Up is a guilty pleasure with a capital “G”. Friday night was date night. If it surprises you that I would, after weeks of not having a chance to go out on a date, drag my darling wife off to see a visceral ballet of bullets and blood like Shoot ‘Em Up, then you severely underestimate how much I like Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci.

In fact, it was on the strength of this cast that I was willing to forego many other theatrical offerings to make sure I saw this film opening night. And, wonderful husband that I am, I chose to share this singular honor with my wife. She’s a lucky woman. 😉

And so, after the last bullet is fired and the last shell casing has hit the ground with an ear-tickling ring, what advice can I give the contemplative film goer wondering if Shoot ‘Em Up is worth their $9?

“F*** you, you f***in’ f***ers”, go see this film!

Okay, so while I wholeheartedly endorse this film, it would be irresponsible of me to lead you to believe that this film is anything but what it is. One critic of the film, who gave Shoot ‘Em Up 2 out of 4 stars, said “If John Woo had directed a Bugs Bunny cartoon written by the creators of South Park, the result might be something like Shoot `Em Up…”. What said critic means as a disparaging remark is not far off the mark in describing exactly why I loved this film.

As I said, Shoot ‘Em Up is a guilty pleasure with a capital “G”. It is also ridiculous with a capital “R”, exhilarating with a capital “E”, adrenaline-fuled with a capital “A”, and tongue-in-cheek with a capital “T”. Well, lookee there, that spells GREAT! To say that Shoot ‘Em Up is a guy’s film would insult the members of the fairer sex who also revel in the occasional vicarious experience of watching unrestrained violence on the big screen. Please accept my apologies, this is a guy’s film. Shoot ‘Em Up is 87 minutes of gunplay, Die-Hard-on-crack one-liners, and cringe-worthy violence. It is the kind of movie that “violent films promote violence” advocates can point to in all sincerity and say “this film makes violence look cool and appealing”. They are right, it does. The shameful giddiness I feel when watching a movie like this is akin to a documentary on why guys like violent video games. There is a degree of catharsis that goes on when watching Shoot ‘Em Up. There is a particular moment of road rage in the film that I told my wife afterwards was like watching pornography…I had that “Yes! I’ve always wanted to do that” feeling and it was all I could do to not give a standing ovation for that moment of cinematic glory.

Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci have all had wonderful, career-defining roles in films. This is not one of them. Shoot ‘Em Up is the kind of film that I wish all academy award hopefuls would have the liberty to do in their career. It was so fun to watch them in this movie. And while a film like this could pigeon-hole and possibly prematurely end the careers of lesser actors, it is the caliber of these particular actors that makes Shoot ‘Em Up such a joy to behold. The movie is thin on plot, thin on characterization, thin on believability (Shoot ‘Em Up puts the “I” in “implausibe”), and yet it manages to entertain from start to finish because of its acerbic wit and the rascally appeal of its stars.

The opening sequence of the film is great and reaffirms just why I put Clive Owen in the top tier of film stars working today. He can take on serious roles like Children of Men, romantic roles like Greenfingers, and also does a bang up job, pardon the pun, in movies like Sin City and Shoot ‘Em Up. As both a hero and an anti-hero, Owen has the ability to charm you with the everyman quality of his acting.

I’ve raved about Paul Giamatti before. His roles in Sideways, Cinderella Man, The Illusionist, and Lady in the Water were all outstanding. I felt he deserved recognition and nominations for all of those parts. He is an amazing actor. Again, that is why it was so entertaining to see him in a role like this. He is so deliciously devious, so wrong, that you can’t help but love it every time that he is on screen.

To be perfectly honest, Monica Bellucci was given a role that exists for only two reasons, and if you aren’t abreast of what those reasons are, send me an email and I’ll confide the secret to your bossom. That being said, she takes what she is given and makes it her own. She is quite funny at times and her sultry, Sophia Loren sexiness means that I have enjoyed watching her in every film I have seen her in.

Shoot ‘Em Up will not win any awards. Not any positive ones at least. It probably won’t last long in the theater if our Friday night crowd was any indication. And it is ludicrous in every sense of the word. Over-the-top, loud, violent for the sake of being violent, crass for the sake of being crass, implausible, unrealistic…you name it and it would describe Shoot ‘Em Up. What makes this film a tremendously entertaining theatrical experience is that it has the spirit of the films of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. In pushing itself past the boundaries of believability, and then going even farther, it brings a smile to the face that doesn’t go away until long after the credits have stopped rolling.

Mary can give you her assessment of the film later. It is a credit to her that she let me drag her to see it on “date night” and that she was, at the very least, mildly entertained. If you are planning on seeing the film, I recommend staying away from reviews at places like Rotten Tomatoes. The amusement factor of a film like this is had when one can avoid the spoilers of reading the one-liners and raunchy witticisms that Shoot ‘Em Up is replete with. Yes, there is a chance that you may walk out wishing that you had that hour and a half of your life back and wondering just how expensive it would be to take a flight to Kansas City so that you can kick my butt for recommending this film. However, if you are anything like me, then this is just the kind of mindless adrenaline rush that sometimes makes all the difference after a long week of work.