Alternate Post Title: The Day I Saved My Mother From the Giant Bug.
After spending the evening with my brother and sister and their families, swapping funny stories from our childhood, my brother encouraged me to post this story on my blog. Since it involved my mother I agreed. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom….I’m sorry.
I was roughly 11 or 12 years old when I woke up one morning and walked into my parents’ bedroom. I don’t remember if my mother was already sitting up in bed or if she sat up as I came into the room. My mother was wearing her peach, silky pajamas which had a keyhole neckline (for those of you who don’t know this was a little oblong circle that buttoned at the top, located right in the middle of the neckline). As I looked at her I was taken aback to see a rather large bug in the center of her chest right smack dab in the keyhole of her nightgown. I cried out “there’s a big bug on you!” and rushed to her bedside. She looked frantically saying “where? where?” and I jumped into bed, brave young soul that I was, and proceeded to grab the bug rather forcefully in an attempt to wrest it from its death grip on my precious mother. It was at that instant that my mother cried out in pain. You see, her pajama top had shifted ever so slightly and the keyhole, which from my perspective was in the middle of her chest, had moved to the side thus exposing the bug…her nipple! Needless to say we were both quite embarrassed and yet we all laughed heartily…as we did tonight when I was recounting this tale.
I love you dearly, mom…you’re the best mother a boy and a man could ever have. And I love you Mary, mother of my child, as you continually prove your amazing talent in raising up our child.
“I did not bare myself deliberately, but I tell you, I wish now that I had! Because it is not me that has been exposed, but you! For I have seen the nipple on your soul!” ~Elaine Benes (Seinfeld)
Thanks for the good wishes, sweetie! I had a great Mother’s Day. Tori got me a very cute summer purse and Carl got me a copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!
So Vicki Anderson, are you mortified that your son wrote about this little incident?
I can’t believe you didn’t share with the world that I also took you to a place I detest (on principle) for breakfast….IHOP!
oh . . . my . . . word! My mouth is agape!
Please tell me that story is near the top of your most embarassing moments list!
wow! This post brought Missy out of hiding!!! Does anyone call you that anymore?
Did she ever wear those pajamas again? Your poor mother!!
Carl, I don’t get your IHOP repulsion. Going there for breakfast is a blessed experience for me.!
I think my IHOP repulsion is mostly stupidity…part of it, however, is that I would rather spend my money for a little more atmosphere in my dining experience and breakfast, although okay, is not one of my favorite meals. My steak omelette was good, however, so no complaints.
Yes Melissa, that would most definitely be one of my many embarrassing moments. Especially considering my age at the time. I’m sure she kept the PJ’s but I probably just avoided making any sort of early morning eye contact for awhile after that.
Carl, you snob! IHOP is great. Waffle House — even better! Where else can you go for 2 am breakfast with a bunch of ragtag souls?
I freely admit to being a trucker’s palace/24 hr. breakfast place snob and freely accept whatever backlash may come!
Ick, this story brought back uncomfortable memories.
Melissa, remember when I walked in on aunt Debbie? Ugg, that was embarrassing!
I’m into anywhere that waits on me and cleans up after me and my family!!! Ahhhh…..
Can’t think of an embarrassing time that I’ve walked in on anyone. Something to ponder…
i think that mothers, before they become mothers, that this sort of thing is bound to happen.
Carl,Carl, Carl !!!! What can I say?? I laughed at the memory but I have decided you kids are not allowed to be together anymore if this is what you come up with! Boy ,I will have to think of something really good to post on your b-day. No matter how red my face is now, I still love you, you turkey!
What a great post! I’m sure you were all temporarily mortified, but it does make for a great post and more importantly, a pretty incredible memory.
Julie, Wow, haven’t heard Missy in a while. Only the priveleged few call me Missy now! I don’t mind when people affectionately come up with the nickname on their own and decide to use it . . . occasionally. For instance, you could get away with it . . . for a while! š
Rob, I have absolutely no recollection of you ever walking in on Aunt Debbie. How old were you? I saw Dad get out of the shower once as a little girl. I hid in your closet for a bit to get over the shock.
Eewwww, naked dads. That’s gross!
A few years back, James was fishing with his dad and grandpa. He didn’t realize that his grandpa was skinny dipping until he came out of the water. Was quite a shock to see a naked grandpa!!!
Well, little Missy, I’ll stick to calling you your grown up name, Melissa! James doesn’t really like being called Stacy. James is his man name!!!!
I’m gonna watch what kind of PJs I wear around you!
Don’t worry, if I see a snake on you I won’t be jumping on you to pull it off! š
To echo Melissa…
OH…MY….WORD!!!
I think I was maybe 10? It was that summer she came to visit. She wasn’t quite naked, but close. Ewww! She was so mad at me at first. I think I was red faced for hours.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for taking me to IHOP. It was so yummy! I actually ate Tori’s left over pancake and sausage this morning for breakfast (with her permission I might add). IHOP is even great as a leftover meal.
We also were able to spend the morning/afternoon with my mom! My dad and my brother and his family were there too. It was great fun. That evening was spent with Carl’s siblings; we missed the parents. š
It looks like Carl’s brother and family are moving to Columbia, MO, so we should see more of everyone. So Mom (Anderson), are you and Dad feeling the pressure to move to the lovely Show-me-state?
No, Vicki and husband Jim will not be moving to the what do you call it “show me state” They are perfectly fine here in the “husker” state. There will be no moving on their part!!!! hahaha
No ulterior motives there, eh Barb? š
Sorry Mom but I really laughed a Carl’s story! I saw my dad’s butt once; however, I don’t think he knew it. A neighbor lady called to say the chimney on our house was on fire. My dad had just finished showering and ran upstairs to get some clothes on. Being in a hurry, he did not bother to close the bedroom door and when his towel dropped I received a mooning! Needless to say, my dad was able to put the fire out but (no pun intended) I’m sure my face stayed red for quite awhile!
“no pun intended” or “no bun(s) intended”?
This is such a funny post! I keep checking it to see what other funny stories and comments will appear!!
I could tell the story of how I ran smack dab into a wall while stark naked but I think I’ll save that tale for another day.
And feel free to share your own stories Julie! š
I have the “mother” of all stories. But first I just want to say “Viva La IHOP”. Okay so when Karen and I were first married and living in an apartment we had her parents over one Sunday after church. Well after several attempts to feign sleepiness they left. No sooner had the door closed than Karen was whipping her clothes off like they were on fire. I no sooner had said she better lock the door than her mother opened the door and rushed in to get her tupperware dish she had left. There was a flash of peach as my new wife shot through the living room for the bathroom while screaming “NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!” Her mom bolted back out the door, I’m on the floor laughing my guts out, Karen is beyond mortified and a few seconds later her dad comes back in with his hands in his pockets and kinda gigglin says “Hey, what’s goin’ on, Judy left her deesh (he’s from W.VA.) To this day her mom and her have never talked about it.
Oh, wow! I think I’m red-faced just reading that. Lol.
Great story Tom! LOL!!!!
I thought of that story when I read this. Karen showed up at our humble mobile home later that day and told me the story!!! Those were the days. It seems like a different lifetime!!
Thanks, Tom, for sharing that one. I only wish that you had been completely naked to share in the experience, too. Then it would not have been quite so funny.
It still embarrasses me to think of it!
The worst part of the story is that I was to spend the following day shopping with my Mom. The whole day I knew what she was thinking and she knew what I was thinking, but no one said a word!
I for one am glad that the story was not about Tom…don’t want that image in my head all day!!!
Here’s a Tom story. He doesn’t really mind showing his bare behind in public.
He got in trouble in Highschool because they were leaving for a band trip out of state and all the parents and teachers were lined up in front of the bus for a picture. When the picture came out there was a bare fanny right there in the bus window and it was Tom’s!!
A guy after my dear brother’s heart. My senior year we were heading to a rival town to play a playoff basketball game against a school in which I had many friends. We based the rival bus on the way and my brother bared all as we raced past. Several people pointed out that they knew me and the next day found us in the principals office. I don’t believe I ratted him out…I think everyone knew it was him by reputation but he would probably remember it better…but I don’t believe I got into any trouble except having to stay late a school for several days while he served detention!