My friend James recently blogged about writer’s myopia in relation to the practice of creative writing on one’s blog. He related the discussion to the week in which he skipped a topic that was offered by the Let’s Blog Off project, a regularly scheduled blogging assignment that exists to encourage bloggers to practice the art of writing rather than giving in to the ennui that occurs when the Muse has taken flight. He mentions regretting passing on the topic of “What’s your favorite color”.
Reading his post got me thinking. Not about my favorite color, but about how we as human beings often miss the opportunity for deeper conversations with one another because of the innocuous questions we ask one another and the pat answers that we give to those questions. “How are you?” is probably the most oft used in the course of the normal day and yet I would venture to say that 99% of the time we say “fine” and just move on. It is probably safe to say that 99% of the time when we ask others that question we honestly don’t care to get a real answer. We are just filling up the space of that awkward moment when we make eye contact with another, or pass them in the hall.
James mentioned that it might be fun to each revisit that theme. James’ post can be found here.
I have to admit that unlike most people in the world, when I hear or read any variation of the “What’s your favorite color?” question, the first thing that pops into my mind, and often comes out of my mouth, is some portion of this dialog uttered by a tall thin frustrated Irishman in the film The Matchmaker
“What is your favorite color?”
“Dammit, what kind of shite is this?”
“I don’t have a favorite color! Jesus! Who has a favorite color?”
“I’ll tell ya me favorite color. Bollucks! That’s me favorite color!”
If you need to hear it for yourself, you can follow this link. The conversation begins at minute 6:23.
And if that isn’t the first thing that pops into my head, this scene is:
As I said, it got me thinking.
If I had been assigned the task to write about my favorite color during the initial Let’s Blog Off discussion, this is how I would like to think I would have answered:
What is my favorite color?
Do you want the simple answer? The one you can walk away from quickly? That is an easy one, my favorite color is orange.
But it is never really that simple, is it? If I wanted to be truthful, I would have to share that my favorite shade of orange, at present, is that burnt/rust orange color that has become more common on various automobiles over the last several years.
Ready to walk away yet?
It stands to reason that if a person has a favorite color that perhaps there is a reason behind it. Again, that is not too difficult to discern in my case. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and as Summer dies and Autumn begins to reign, the color orange, in many glorious shades and hues, is the predominant color of the season. The pumpkins, the All Hallow’s Eve decorations, the glow of autumn leaves. I cannot look at the color orange without associating it with that most majestic of seasons.
But does Toby, in The Matchmaker, have a point? I mean who really has a favorite color? Can anyone who actually takes the time to form a strong attachment to color be satisfied with just one?
My favorite color is the magenta of the sky at the tail end of a radiant sunset.
It is crisp white of new fallen snow.
My favorite color is the aged yellow of the pages of a classic novel at my local library.
And it is the sour apple green of the first Flavia de Luce book.
My favorite color is the crimson in the rising of a large, full, blood-red moon.
It is the gleaming black of a good blaster at your side, kid.
My favorite color is the sallow of the remaining fluff of the teddy bear that guarded my youth.
And it is the cold stone gray of an overcast November day.
My favorite color is the shimmering reddish-brown of the tresses of an auburn-haired lass.
It the golden gleam of a Ring destined for destruction.
My favorite color is the pink of the lips that kiss me awake each morn and to sleep each night.
And it is the green that signifies the return of Spring.
My favorite color is the brilliant orange of the pumpkin lying in a sunny autumn field.
It is the amber light of the candle that will soon give it life.
My favorite color is…
The ‘how are you?’ awkwardness gets me every time. Luckily, us Welsh have turned the question into part of the greeting.
Person 1, “Morning. Alright?”
Person 2. “Morning. Alright.”
Easy. Just respond without the inflection and the awkwardness is avoided.
As for favourite colour, I’m a fan of earthy tones at the moment, so dark shades of green (like a forest canopy? I dunno, it’s a nice shade of green).
I’ve noticed how weird it is in the workplace, especially if you see the same person multiple times a day. I don’t know where we developed this idea that it is rude to just go about your business without making some worthless comment every time you see the person.
I do think it is important to acknowledge people and to be pleasant, but when I actually take a moment to think about it I wish that I was more creative with those encounters.
Good favorite colors. The dark green of a forest is lovely, as are the muted earth tones of the ground underneath.
I agree. I’m one of those people who in real life isn’t so much shy as just very quiet, and I don’t see much of a point in smalltalk. It just feels so awkward and artificial.
My favorite color is brown. I know it’s an odd one to have, but I’ve always loved it. It’s earthy and subtle, with so many different possibilities. Reddish browns are particularly nice.
I actually have become quite fond of brown in my clothing choices over the last few years.
And I’m not big on smalltalk either. Or at least as defined by trying to make conversation with folks I don’t know read well. I can talk about nothing very important for hours with friends and family. But I always feel uncomfortable in small talk situations with people I don’t know.
hmmm i thought about this and realized that my “favorite color” must be white. duh. how dull. I think it was forced upon me.. what I mean is I grew up (somethings never change) dirt poor. And so If I were to need to buy a new tshirt/ blouse etc.. I generally bought white or black because since I could only afford 1 white or black would go with everything else I had.. fast forward to my Star Trek convention years: One time I was going to a trek convention and my friend Sue from California (De’s fanclub president) couldn’t come and so she told me to look for a friend of hers named Carmen Carter, who was going to be a guest as she wrote Star Trek books. While there walking among several hundred people this lady came up to me and asked if I was Sue’s friend Pat..”why yes” I responded, “Carmen?” ..”yes”.. ME: “how did you know it was me?”.. “Sue described you but then said, most likely she will be wearing all white or all black”… I was in all white. duh.
So white is my answer. plus my bedroom set is white, my walls are white and I have a white cat… does that answer the question? lol
That is so fun that your friend knew you that well. Proves there is nothing at all wrong with consistency. And you can’t go wrong with white or black when it comes to clothes, can you?
I was just looking through a magazine the other day and was wishing I had a much larger house to decorate. One of the things I really like, but that doesn’t really match the style of the rest of my decorating, is those white, shabby-chic decorated rooms. The ones that look like they are in an old farmhouse with rough wood floors and white walls and whitewashed furniture that either is or looks aged. The iron headboard, etc. Those all white or mostly white rooms always look so clean and romantic to me.
now you are talking something I would love too!!!
Someday….
I know exactly what you mean about favorite colors. My young nieces and nephew have often asked what my favorite color is because they are still categorizing–“does she like the same color as I do?” or even just to be able to say “Dominique’s favorite color is…”
Of course they are never satisfied with my answer which typically runs along the lines of “it depends.” It depends on what we’re talking about. I have a tough time finding a red that looks good on me, but I love it in an accent pillow. And while I am unlikely to choose a car with multiple color blocks, I love it in a painting. It depends.
It does indeed. I love a rich red as an accent in a room. I enjoy seeing Tori’s rich metallic red bar stools in my computer room, and the reds in the pictures we have on the walls in our living room. To use the ol’ tv show designer phrase, having a strong accent color like that really makes the room “pop”.
I completely “stole” the red from your house for my own red accent wall in the living room. It’s perfect.
I stole the red from a color I saw in a house down the street one night when I was out walking, they had it for an accent wall. 🙂
Love your descriptions of your favorite colours, as I too, am unable to pick just one. Each has its own special connection to my life, and it is as impossible to pick it apart by choosing only one as it is to pick only one genre to focus on one’s blog…or one fragrance to wear forever.
I know, how can anyone just choose one! Your comment made me think of another, the dark brown color of silky dark chocolate. Yum! Just looking at the rich color of a Dove dark chocolate square makes my mouth water.
I’m not one of those hit and run people. When I ask how someone is I genuinely want to know. I also tend to ask specific questions as apposed to the general. As for your posts I’m the same way. I read them thoroughly and enjoy them in the same manner 😉
My favorite color is red. That deep, very dark crimson you often see around Christmas 😀 Can’t get enough of it 😀
I’m certainly trying to be more that way, and/or at least make an effort to make a comment to someone about something rather than just asking how they are. Even just greeting people with an enthusiastic “hello” or “good morning” is more effective and genuine I think sometimes that asking “how are you doing?” out of habit.
Yes, that red at Christmas time is lovely, isn’t it? Won’t be long now.
Agree, I find that really believing and meaning what you say is like magic. People love to be acknowledged and feel that what they say has value. To give them that validation doesn’t take a lot of time or even much effort, it just takes sincerity. It’s a very small thing, that has a very big effect…and it tends to domino 😀
It is a very small thing but you are right, it does have a big effect, especially if sincere interest is something you keep investing in a person. It is amazing how that helps in building strong and meaningful relationships.
Lovely post, the perfect combination of funny and moving. The favourite colour questions always stumps me – I finally varied my black wardrobe with dark pinks and reds (my mother says, “those muddy colours you like, darling…”) but I’ve noticed that a quite a bit of green has crept in recently, and I think I do like green best, because there are so many wonderful shades in nature. Even the acid greeny-yellow of the lichen on the ashtree outside my window is amazing, and on the ivy that festoons the tree, no two leaves seem to be the same.
Thanks. Wish I could have just been serious but that question really does always bring up those two funny moments. Just cannot help my own weirdness.
The greens and yellows in nature are so wonderful. I really love that rich, soft green of the moss that grows on trees or on the ground in shady, damp places. It reminds me of a fairy tale for some reason.
Goodness, Carl, but that’s fantastic colors. Nigh poetic, methinks.
I find the shallowness and lack of community/intimacy disconcerting. People are much too private. This privacy comes across as dishonesty, at least to me. I’d much rather have a conversation of honesty and truth with someone (“How’s it going?”, “Fine.”, “Really?”, “No, not really. My…”) any day. Of course, this takes time, investment, and we Americans are all about being expeditious and selfish…
Needless to say, I, too, have thought on this subject a lot, especially pertaining to Christ and how I interact with others. I want that kind of compassion and interest in Others shining through me, and one way to do that is to slow down and invest in people.
Great post, friend.
I wouldn’t go that far Logan! 🙂
I agree. That is why I am trying to at least recognize when I am doing this and know that if I don’t have time for a real conversation with someone that instead of asking them a question I will just exchange some form of pleasant and genuine greeting with them instead. That way when I ask questions I can do so when I am prepared to try to elicit an honest and open answer.
I am right there with you on wanting the compassion of the Lord to shine through me as well. Some days I feel I do pretty well with this. On most days I look back and feel that I’ve been selfish and self-involved. Thankfully God understand, shows grace, and is right there with us to help the next day be better.
Agreed. I read this interesting article once about how to have good conversation etiquette, and it basically asked if you spend conversations selfishly. Since then, I’ve tried to make sure and actually listen to others and prompt them to tell their stuff, as opposed to circling around back to me and my thoughts/opinions. Still, this is super tough to do, but it’s at least a step in the right direction.
It is really tough to do. It is sometimes difficult to get out of that mode of thinking what you want to say next rather than really listening to the person and letting the conversation take a more natural course.
hmmmm, my favorite color? ALL OF ‘EM! all the colors of a beautiful, living landscape turning thru the seasons. The subtle grey greens of life returning in the Spring. The vibrant blues, greens and every color inunder the rainbow during Summer when there has been enough rain. The acid blue of the sky with puffs of white cloud and the grass beginning to turn sere and yellow green in high dry Summer. The gorgeous oranges, yellows and reds of high Autumn. I even like the steel grey of overcast skies and rain, with the occasional pristine white of snow during the winter. My favorite color is life! 😀
I’m with you Sgist. In the write setting and with the right mood any color can evoke emotions and make a connection. I am with you all the way, my favorite color is also life. (And coincidentally enough, that is almost the way I ended my post, but decided in the end to just leave it a little more open).
Nice post. As to the greeting thing, a nod usually suffices, maybe a “Hey.” will do. To the people who ask how I am without wanting to know, I occasionally answer them “well, it all started when I was eight…” which shuts them up and gets them moving off with some alacrity.
Color? Take the color wheel, remove bright red, purple and muddy brown and you have my answer: what’s left. As for season, Since I only recent;y moved to a place where there is Fall color, I am attached to Spring, and that’s the greens and pale yellows (daffodils).
Yes, and I find myself doing that more and more often at work, Richard. Acknowledging people, saying “good morning”. I do “hey” a lot. I’ve occasionally given someone a more honest answer when the “how are you?” question is asked and it does tend to shock them, even if the answer is a really positive one.
I don’t think I could remove any of the colors.
Yes, you are going to be having some brilliant fall colors where you live, I imagine. And spring will be full of color for you and your wife as the newly planted plants, etc. come into bloom.
That blog off thing sounds interesting. Might sign up.
I don’t have a favourite colour, but in a certain circumstance I may do. Fav. colour for wearing is probably black. But I like green or purple for accessories, and eye make-up 🙂
I like deep rich colours for furniture and carpets. Warm shades of whatever colour.
I like that purple/dark grey colour of clouds when they are about to burst. Especially if I am almost home 🙂
I like the deep red a well-established coal fire turns.
I love the green of spring grass, and the various greens of hedges and leaves, with the odd splash of a different colour. All colours are great. Double rainbow! 🙂
Oh yes Fence, I adore all of those. Well, I don’t generally wear eye make-up but if I did I suppose I could be on board with your color choices. 😉
Glad you mentioned rain clouds, they can be so ominous but so very beautiful just before they unleash their torrent of rain.
Maybe you could give some eye-shadow a whirl at halloween 🙂
Ominous but beautiful. Sounds like a super-hero. Or villain
Oh I have before for Halloween, believe me! 😉
Interesting that you write this,because lately my ideas about favorite colors, personally, have been changing. For years, I loved grey, just about any kind of grey. I also loved royal blues and purples, and black, and the kind of garnet that is so deep red that it looks black unless you catch glints of it in the light. But lately, I’m starting to be drawn to different colors: oranges and reds and greens, colors I’ve never been terribly drawn to in the past. I used to love a cooler color spectrum, and seem to be switching to a warmer one…
The timing is probably not coincidental given the incredible changes you are undergoing with your improved fitness and health and everything. I imagine you will and do look at all kinds of things differently now. I would imagine I’m more generally drawn to the warm colors, but couldn’t imagine life without the cool ones either. They are all just too beautiful when they are seen in the right setting.
Carl,
I think you’re right when you say 99% of the time people really don’t care much for the answer when they ask “How are you?” but I also think that the question has somewhat been substituted as a greeting – I don’t think people read into it so much as a genuine concern for their well being, more as a way of just acknowledging someone. For example, when I see people I might say – “Hey, How’s it going?” – and I’m not really expecting any kind of answer at all. I don’t often hear people greeting each other with a “Good morning” any more.
Red, by the way.
I agree with you, I don’t think people expect a real answer either and I don’t think most of them care that they don’t get one. I just find it interesting. And I also find it hard to stop doing it.
And red is good!
love your colors list near the end of this very wonderful post. and I, too, love that very hue of orange you reference. I really wanted my Murano in that color… I agree with James, that ennui sets in when the blog becomes too myopic for the writer. The more engaged in a blogosphere community, the more I want to share other interests with them, like my family and hobbies; and yet, mindful of a pressure to keep a book blog bookish. I don’t really do memes either which I know many use to remain “relevant” while combating boredom. I like this creative prompt idea, and that it stretches across a more eclectic community of bloggers. Will be looking into this. Thanks for sharing.
Oooo…I’d love to have a Murano.
I know that if I get too focused on just one thing in my personal life then I find it hard to be motivated to post something, so I try to keep my reading and my activities somewhat varied just so that I can have places in which to find creative inspiration.
I think I’m going to enjoy trying out the Let’s Blog Off thing as well. I have a feeling my posts will not be to their norm and hopefully that will be okay.
Wow! What a beautiful post.
Thank you so much Jillian, I really appreciate that.
Great ‘favorite color’ post Carl!
Thanks for doing this with me and I look forward to having you be a part of Let’s Blog Off!
I had a feeling you would talk about autumn weather with me.
Thanks, I thought yours was great too. I was never going to pass up the opportunity to talk about the beauty of fall colors given that it is October, but from the very start that was just going to be a small part of my post. I do think it is hilarious that we both chose beautiful autumn images to head our posts.
Okay gang, this is just too funny. Not minutes after responding on here about how I was trying really hard to stop with the “how are you?” stuff, I walked out of my building with a former employee of mine and the first words out of my mouth were “Hey (name of person), How are you?” I almost visibly cringed, but then a funny thing happened. She answered, “mediocre if you want me to be honest” and then proceeded to tell me the story about how her day started with her dog defecating in her car on the way to the groomers and how the day was up and down from there. We had a fun time chatting and both had a good laugh. Which taught me that I also need to work on the pat response of “fine” when people ask me that and try to be a bit more honest.
My gosh, I love the movie The Matchmaker. Cracks me up. Love this post. My favorite color is red – but walking the dogs the other evening, as the sun was setting over the Vegas valley mountains – the most beautiful pink/purple/orange sunset was going on. And twilight. I love the color of twilight. And the green mossy color of a river. It goes on and on….
I do too, Amanda. My only issue with the movie at all is Dennis Leary. It is wholly unnecessary for this sweet romantic comedy for him to be dropping f-bombs and other profanties. I like him in the role with the exception of those moments when he is just cussing like a sailor because I don’t think it works with the rest of the film. It stands out like a sore thumb.
That sunset sounds beautiful. And twilight is really wonderful too. It does indeed go on and on…
Fun post Carl.
I was very much entertained with the Monty Python clip.
I grew up with my oldest brother watching Monty Python all the time, and to this day, he still gets a great laugh out of those shows. I love it when he shares the funny scenes he coems across.
I really liked your color list. It illustrates perfectly at how a moment, a scene, a favorite like is associated with a color. I can totally see why you like shades of orange, it really does suit your favorite season. I tend to lean towards to jewel tone colors which makes sense as I like the Autumn and Winter season best, and all the colors that surround those season. If push comes to shove though, I would say the jewel tones of green and purple would be the colors I lean mostly towards, and maybe some deep shades of red too (at times).
“How are you?” is a troubling questioning and one that i try not to ask unless I am truly interested. That question reminds me of the common one at my work – “Do you need help?” when really the most times that question is asked by co-workers – they do not want to help rather just noting that the other person is busy and recognizing that. I sometimes ask it in that manner too, but have been working on asking with apparent willingness of wanting to help.
Thanks, it was really fun to write.
Monty Python is great. Such goofy humor but I’ve loved it for a long time.
Yes, I just love autumn and winter colors. The autumn colors are so spectacular and brilliant and then they turn in a deliciously melancholy way to the more muted colors of winter. I love how that happens.