According to this article in USA Today, those of us who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s got too much praise and now we are whiney babies, ill prepared for the world around us. Now this is an exaggeration of what the article really says but reading it does make one feel somewhat “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”.
I agree with some of what this article has to say. I’ve never really understood the value of having kids play sports in an environment where everyone is praised no matter what they do. Competition is a part of society and putting children in a competitive environment (which, if handled correctly, can be quite valuable) and then stripping all the competition out of it has always seemed a bit foolish to me.
On the other hand, I feel there is a role that praise plays in the raising of children and its an important one. I feel that the article misses the actual time line a bit. What they are describing seems to me to be true more for kids who were born in the 80’s on, not so much the 70’s. What I see in my working experience is that alot of young people in the 18-25 year old range do feel entitled, frequently miss work or underperform, and expect a regular paycheck for doing so. I don’t recall a big dose of “self-esteem” building jargon from my parents. I felt very loved and was taught a work ethic that I feel helps me very much today.
So what’s the lesson in this article? Probably the same lesson that is in most conversations of this type: balance. Protect your kids too much and they are ill-equipped to deal with reality. Let them run wild and they become the type of people that I deal with in the behavioral health field every day.
Maybe the fact that we were born in the (late) 60’s… Although I had a great childhood, I personally did not see this happening to me and my friends in the 70’s. I do feel that there was a big move in the 80’s toward trying to understand, encourage and reason with children. This is great in theory, but I have seen instances where it was taken to the extreme to the detriment of the child. It is not fair to leave a child unprepared for living in a society where we must constantly submit to the authority that is placed over us. We must first learn to submit to our parents, teachers, God, government, bosses, etc before we can truly be free to guide our own lives with any understanding. The plan is to teach this at an early age, so you can give your child more freedom as they show the ability to handle choices in a mature manner that takes into consideration the consequences to self and others.
I feel that many parents today do not spend enough time with their children teaching them respect, responsiblity and discipline. Too many unprepared teenagers and young adults are having children. This can lead to chaos in the household (in many instances) and parents simply do many do not know what to do when their child is mis-behaving or being disrespectful. I feel a lot of parents use television as a distraction and entertainment for their kids. Don’t get me wrong, I feel that television can be very educational. But, many parents themselves are too lazy to monitor this “temporary babysitter”. I feel so sorry for kids today that don’t understand how to pretend and use their imagination. Children today are missing out on many of the key elements that help build their personalities and develop their characters. I hope I don’t offend anyone by this email. Again, I do not feel that this pertains to all parents in society, but a large portion.
I’m offended! TV is the Great Teacher…all truths in life are learned from the Box of Wisdom…
… says the whiney baby.
All jokes aside, I really hope no one takes offense. I can talk big now b/c I don’t have children
yet.
It won’t allow me to leave a comment in Themes. I like the pic.
The burden I feel with four kids is overwhelming. It’s sooooo hard!!!! If I think too much about it I’ll freak out.
Abby, your comments were not offensive to me. You will be a really good mom!!!!
I grew up during this time and I sure don’t remember getting lots of praise. I don’t remember getting any! I probably over praise my kids but I’m not afraid to tell them where they’ve gone wrong, especially when it comes to attitudes and morality.
I have to disagree, I think t.v. gives mom and dads alone time that is needed to help keep a healthy marriage. You just have to make sure the shows your children are watching are getting them prepared for the real world. Shows like The Osbornes. HA HA HA. I kill me sometimes.
I think the O.C. is a good show to watch with your kids…prepares them for reality. 🙂