It has been a long time since I heard those words spoken over me and a young lady who, in looking back at the photographs, seemed so young that I can scarce believe that her parents ever let her out of the house, let alone agreed to let me drag her off to my cave! A long time. Twenty years to be exact (come May 13th, that is).

Yes indeed, my dear wife Mary and I have been together in holy matrimony for two decades. While I remember a lot that has happened in the intervening years, I still struggle to understand where all the time has gone. I certainly don’t feel like I have been married for half as many years as I have been alive. Perhaps that is part of the blessing that makes marriage work, that time does seem to have flown by when you look back at it.

We certainly haven’t accomplished all that we may have dreamed would be the case in our first twenty years of being one flesh, but we have accomplished a lot. In two decades we have grown from practically being two kids (I was twenty, Mary twenty-one) playing house to become two adults who are in the process of raising a wonderful soon-to-be-seventeen young woman, who have seen our careers flourish, and have seen us develop relationships with family and friends that worth more than could ever be quantified.

The greatest thing about being together for twenty years in a successful marriage is the realization that in one person you have a lover and a companion who knows you more intimately than anyone else and continues to love you, ‘warts and all’, as the saying goes. You have a friend who understands you and is there for you and helps you experience life to its fullest. You also have someone you can fight with and argue with and disagree with who is willing to work with you to resolve issues to the benefit of both parties because you are both invested in the same thing: a life together.

I am beyond grateful for the blessing that Mary has been in my life. More than twenty years ago when I realized that I wanted to marry her I believed that she was a gift from God…I feel this every bit as strongly today. More so actually, because I can look back and see how she has been a pillar of strength, a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with and live passionately with, a mother to our daughter, a voice of reason, an inspiration….I can see all the things she has done to complete me and to make life one helluva fulfilling experience.

I love you dearly, Mary and I truly look forward to the next twenty years and hopefully another twenty beyond that (I’m in no hurry to pass on!). It is my sincerest wish to face the adventure of the 40’s with you and so much more, being the man you need me to be and allowing you to be the woman that you want to be. And I look forward to continuing to work towards those dreams that have not yet been realized with you as my partner. Happy 20th Anniversary!

I am posting this early because my wife and I are off Tuesday morning to our favorite Inn for 4 days and 3 nights of rest and relaxation and ‘us’ time. I look forward to catching up with all of you when I return, until then I hope that each and every one of you has a wonderful week.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

~William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

(image from Antler Magazine)

“I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with.”
~Plato

It has been too long since I’ve taken you on a journey around the world wide web, searching for the shiny things: things that are fun, inspirational, or just plain cool. On this first day of the month, traditionally April Fool’s Day, I will forgo the pranks and instead provide you with worthwhile distractions to get you over the hump! Let us begin.

I have always considered fashion a form of art and there are companies that have this same view, shooting their ads in such a way that they are as much pieces of art as the clothes are. Andi Strand has a similar desire to combine fashion and art and that desire has led her to create the online magazing, Antler.

“ANTLER is an online magazine which focuses on composing a collection of beautiful, inspiring ideas and designs from all aspects of life. We come in the body of a fashion magazine, but are more than just that. We look for ways to inspire through not only fashion, but art, design, literature, and culture. We strive to compile a new collection each month that meets this criteria.”

I thumbed through it online yesterday and was very impressed. Andi Strand has brought together some fantastic designers and photographers to create a truly interesting magazine. She has raised the standard of online zines to a new level, a level of extremely high quality.

Continue reading Wednesday Wanderings →

“The bond between a man and his profession is similar to that which ties him to his country; it is just as complex, often ambivalent, and in general it is understood completely only when it is broken: by exile or emigration in the case of one’s country, by retirement in the case of a trade or profession.”
~Primo Levi

Continue reading Turning the Page →

(photo by Carl V.)

“It may serve as a comfort to us, in all our calamities and afflictions, that he that loses anything and gets wisdom by it is a gainer by the loss”
~L. Estrange

Comfort. It is a word, and idea, that has been foremost in my mind for several weeks now. As much as I believe that life is about joy and love and living, it is also about calamity and pain and struggle and loss. Life has been a real struggle for me of late, primarily due to work related issues. A job that was always difficult has become more so with company layoffs and an ever-increasing work load. Sure, I’ve had bad weeks before, but I’ve never experienced such a sustained period of nearly overwhelming stress in my entire existence. I know it will get better, I truly believe that. But what do I do now, in the midst of the storm, to find comfort and peace?

Death has touched us, as it touches people everywhere, every day, whether we personally are cognizant of it or not. The end of 2008 saw the death of a much beloved community builder in the book blog world. Deslily, one of my dear internet friends, has seen the loss of her brother and a dear friend in fairly rapid succession. Neil Gaiman just lost his father. And recently my elementary school teacher lost her husband. He was only in his 50s. He was driving along the road and someone ran a stop sign and killed him. Every Christmas I think of writing this teacher. She gave me an ornament in the 3rd grade that I cherish and each year as I put it up I swear that I am going to sit down and write her a letter. And every year passes and I do not get to it. It has taken death to move me to reach out.

Continue reading Take Comfort →

For many of us who grew up with Star Trek (when it aired or in syndication), the original series is a thing unto itself. While it can be easily argued that it does not have the narrative depth of later series, it did introduce us to iconic characters that we cherish to this day. I consider TOS, the original series, to be put on its own untouchable pedestal.

I was a late comer to Next Generation, only watching the last few seasons when it aired, and when Voyager came out my wife and I were fairly faithful watchers of the show. Deep Space Nine? Not a chance. At that time of my life the idea did not appeal to me and I can say with a large degree of certainty that in my ignorance I used the phrase “Deep Sleep Nine” in describing it.

Then something interesting happened.

Continue reading All Good Things… →