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The Lost Art of Snarking Out


(photo by Peter Rosbjerg)

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
~Raymond Inmon

On an otherwise unremarkable day, in a small town library in northeastern Nebraska, three sketchily drawn teenagers standing out against a stark white background caught my eye and were soon to capture my heart. That was nearly three decades ago, in 1982. I was thirteen years old and had just discovered Daniel Pinkwater’s latest novel, The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death, standing erect just above eye level on the shelf showcasing new arrivals. I will never know which librarian chose to place that particular book face-out on that particular shelf on that particular day, but he/she will forever be counted among my heroes.

It was roughly thirteen years ago that I picked up my paperback copy of the same book to read aloud to my six year old daughter. Pinkwater’s absurd wordplay coupled with a storyline about teenagers sneaking out at night to go to the movies and track down nefarious ne’er-do-wells contained the perfect balance of adventure and silliness to make a young child look forward to before-bed story time.

Recently my now nearly nineteen year old daughter requested that I read the story to her once more, a request seconded by her mother who missed out on the ending of the story all those years ago and is quick to remind me of that fact if ever The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death works its way into conversation. And so, in stolen moments between work, schoolwork, and bedtime, we have been revisiting Walter Galt, Winston Bongo, Bentley Saunders Harrison Matthews (aka, Rat) and the rest of the menagerie of Baconburg. We are a third of the way through the book and are enjoying it as if it were our first time.

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Happy New Year

And with that we bid a fond farewell to 2010. A new decade begins. It hardly seems like a decade could have passed since the big Year 2000 panic. It has been quite the decade of growth in my personal and professional life. I continue to grow in my interests and passions, which is something I am very thankful for and take for granted far too often.

In past New Year’s Day posts I have discussed the phenomenon of an arbitrary day, a marking on a calendar, and how it can have such a profound affect on us, if we allow it to. What is really and truly just another passing day comes with its very own built in excuse to do a little self-examination, a little-reflection, and a little planning for what might lie ahead.

I am not a big goal setter by nature. I have made “resolutions” in past years and had great success in fulfilling some of them, no success in fulfilling others, and other times I have resolved nothing in particular…and I have been 100% successful in accomplishing that! 😉 So I enter 2011 with the knowledge that, at age 42, I am not yet an old dog (though I sometimes feel like one) who cannot teach himself new tricks. I know from personal experience and the study of others that there is great value in setting goals, but only for things a person truly wants to accomplish. While these need not be set in stone, subject to extreme self-loathing if they are not accomplished, they can be made firm enough to give a foundation and some accountability.

To that end I am going to resolve a few things for 2011.

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Advent Calendar Day 24: May Your Days Be Merry


(Image from this Christmas Wallpaper)

Every year Kailana and I share the honor of finishing the Blog Advent Calendar together. Our trademark seems to be something to make you think, no doubt much to everyone’s chagrin. This year will be no different. When I was in second grade I remember checking out a book of Elephant jokes from the library. These jokes were every bit as groan-worthy as you might imagine, but I laughed aloud as I made my way through the book, sharing the jokes aloud with my peers while choking back tears. In the spirit of those bygone days, you will find a list of 10 Christmas Jokes, worthy of boos, hisses, and shouts of Bah, Humbug! You will find another 10 on Kailana’s site. You will find the answers to these nuggets of “humor” below after the jump. Give them the ol’ college try before you make that jump, or Santa might deliver the proverbial lump of coal in your stocking.

To give you a little incentive to work the little gray cells in the midst of Christmas prep madness, those who comment on both my site and Kailana’s, letting us know how you did, will be entered into a drawing for a $15 online bookstore gift certificate of your choice. The drawing will be held on Monday, December 27th, 2010, chosen from those who comment on both sites by 11:59 p.m. CST Sunday, December 26th, 2010.

May God bless you all this Christmas season. The gift of your friendship is the most precious gift of all, thank you.

Questions:

1. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

2. Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?

3. Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?

4. What do snowmen eat for lunch ?

5. What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?

6. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?

7. If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

8. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?

9. How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?

10. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Bonus question: Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?

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Happy Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men;
but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.

~E.P. Powell

For those who celebrate it, I wish you all a very safe, fun-filled and belly-stuffed Happy Thanksgiving. For all the rest of you, Happy Last Thursday of November 2010. I’m grateful for each and every comment, each and every visit, and each and every interaction I have had over the last nearly 6 years with all of you wonderful, creative and interesting people.