(Cartographer: Claudia Rodriguez, painting by Donato Giancola)
“…I’m leaving in the mornin’ on a Q-Electra-Blue,
I’ll hang a right at Jupiter on the far side of the Moon;
And I’ll stand before the Elders and they’ll ask me of this place,
And if the Earth could be a home for folks from Outer Space.”~Shel Silverstein, from I’m From Outer Space
This week’s Lets Blog Off topic explores the familiar theme of what you wanted to be when you grew up, but adds the more sobering twist: Are you still getting there?
Given the title of my post one might assume that the simple answer is “No”.
But lets examine this a little more closely.
I was born less than a year before we landed on the moon. I grew up a child of the Star Wars generation. I read a lot of science fiction growing up. I looked to the stars.
But to say that I wanted to be an astronaut–heck, to say I wanted to be a ‘spaceman’–is actually disingenuous. Battlestar Galactica, more than anything, convinced me that by the time I was “grown up”, we would all be living in space. Perhaps it was the idea that the crew of the Galactica were tied to Earth that convinced me that we would all be flying Vipers and cruising among the stars in the not too distant future. On closer examination it looks like what I really wanted to be was just your average citizen, living in a science fictional future. Flying in space ships was not the only thing I remember wanting to do when I grew up though. I also wanted to be a marine biologist.
I have always been fascinated with the vastness and the terrifying wonder of the sea and all the life it contains. I recall that I was around 12 years old when I told someone at my grandmother’s house that I wanted to be a marine biologist. I had recently discovered that such a career existed and it dominated my thoughts for a time. Never mind that biology was never my favorite subject, nor any other science for that matter. Did I really want to be a marine biologist? No. What I really wanted was a job where I got paid to hang out in the ocean looking at cool fish and, of course, stumbling across lost treasure.
Yet here I am, two weeks shy of my 43rd birthday. I am an established part of the executive staff at a community mental health center. I come home every night and the first thing I do is change into my pajamas.
So you would think that when it comes to examining my childhood life goals, the honest answer to the question “Are you still getting there?” would be a foregone conclusion.
However I say the answer is a resounding “Yes!!!”
As I contemplate those two “career paths” it strikes me that what I really wanted to be was an explorer and an adventurer, charting a little traveled course through worlds I could little imagine. I still want to be those things. What are space and the ocean if not two examples of vast, largely unexplored universes teeming with wonders yet to be discovered first hand? It may very well be a “glass half full” answer, but I do believe I have been and am still becoming the explorer/adventurer I always wanted to be.
I explore those “strange new worlds” nearly every day when I crack open the pages of a book. In real life I am rather like a hobbit, content to stay in the shire living a good but quiet life. In the pages of a book I can be anyone I want to be. I can have the adventures that would be dirty, smelly, uncomfortable and far too dangerous in real life while sipping a glass of wine or a mug of hot cocoa. Yes, I can hear you groaning from way over here. You may think this a poor substitute for “actual” adventure. I think it is a rich world filled with possibilities.
I am in the 22nd year of the adventure of being married to the woman who said “I do” to me when I was just a kid playing grown up at the age of 20. In these days when marriage is seen as an outmoded institution and statistics tell us that marriages don’t last, it is a daily adventure to give of myself wholly to this other person and commit myself to sticking by her “for better or for worse”. Our relationship has grown and changed so much in these two decades and we continue to explore new aspects of our marriage as we grow old and mature together.
Along those same lines it is becoming increasingly adventurous to proclaim oneself a “Christian” in a world that either denies the existence of God or would have us believe that the best way for everyone to “get along” is for us to all dump our contentious religious beliefs or come together under the banner of some merged, shared spirituality. It is an adventure to believe in the Bible. It is even more of an adventure to come to the place in your walk with God that you can admit that you are okay with the idea that on this side of life you’ll never have all the answers. Faith, the final frontier!
A few years ago I began the grand adventure of growing up in regards to financial matters and began to get my spending under control. We have paid off nearly $34,000 of debt and along the way have explored making sacrifices, curbing impulses, and have had the adventure of planning a budget and sticking to it. You may think I am being facetious, but it really has been an adventure. You want to decrease stress, eliminate fighting with your spouse and be truly happy and content? Start living within your means, paying off debt, and being generous. It is utterly amazing how adventurous life becomes when you start living that way. Wow! I had the mistaken idea in my younger years that the exploration of the self would settle down and become non-existent at some point. Mercifully I was so wrong.
I also explore the world around me in small but significant ways, like varying the routes I take to and from work. I am regularly discovering new side roads and back ways that allow me to take in different scenery. I’ve learned to be much more cognizant of my surroundings and am more apt to notice the beauty of nature. To actually stop and smell the roses rather than not even noticing they are there.
I would be lying if I said there weren’t times when I looked up into the night sky with a longing for things to be different. There is an ache when I think of the incredible progress our space program made in the 60’s and 70’s and see the way it has fizzled out today. Sure, I’d love to stand on the moon. It would be unbelievable to see a manned mission to Mars. The same could be said for my desires to explore the depths of the ocean. I’ve chosen to live in the center of the United States, so running out for an afternoon of scuba diving isn’t exactly convenient.
But do I really mind? Not as much as you might think. Because I really and truly do have an immersive experience when I pick up a good novel or watch an episode of a show I love like Deep Space Nine or Dr. Who. There is a pleasure and contentment there that is not artificial, nor is it merely a poor substitute for the real thing.
As far as the ocean goes, I have had the pleasure of snorkeling off the coast of Hawaii and I fully intend to plan and take many varied vacations beginning next year when the debt is behind us. And one of my goals is to learn to scuba dive. My brief but wondrous experience of ocean life in Hawaii has rekindled that fire in me.
I am an optimistic person. I do see life as an adventure. I do see myself exploring and adventuring more in the coming years than I dared do when I was younger and I look forward to the years to come while keeping myself firmly engaged in exploring today. “Reality” has not dampened my enthusiasm nor stopped me from dreaming of boldly going.
“Are you still getting there?” Oh yes, and the journey has just begun.
An inspirational post, Carl. Thanks for sharing. Indeed, the journey has just begun, and I have an eight-year headstart on you.
No fair cheating! 😉 Thanks Morag.
What a fabulous post. I wanted to emigrate to either Canada or the USA when I was young. I never did but, like you, I don’t feel like I’ve failed. Life is one huge exploration as you so wonderfully put it. And, like you, with my loving of all kinds of ‘exploring’ books I feel like I am still on a journey. I just decided to ‘explore’ every state in the US by way of books and I’m so excited I can hardly think of anything else. There are ways and means if you have the imagination to make it happen. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post with us.
That sounds like a fantastic journey, Cath. I don’t know if you enjoy nonfiction essays, but in addition to the obvious Mark Twain choices I would recommend C.W. Gusewelle’s book, On the Way to Other Country, for a choice for Missouri. Here is my review:
http://www.stainlesssteeldroppings.com/on-the-way-to-other-country
Thanks, Carl, yes I love essays so I’ve added that to my list. Very grateful for any suggestions. You compared the author’s work to that of Anne Fadiman and as I enjoyed her book of essays on books I think I’ll certainly be trying to read Gusewelle’s book.
I hope you’ll enjoy it. It is a big book and one that can be savored over a period of time. I devoured it in chunks and read several of them aloud to my wife.
I went through the astronaut phase too, but was told by the responsible adults that it would never happen because I’m asthmatic and that my lungs would collapse upon reentry. 😛
Party Poopers!!! 🙂
what a wonderful blog topic, and a beautiful post!
Like Grace, I went through the astronaut phase but it was short lived as someone told me the realities of becoming and astronaut – Air Force pilot, buckets of calculus classes and they probably didn’t make astronaut clothes small enough for my hobbit-like frame. and even ground lessons for a pilot’s liscence bored me to tears.
agreed, one of the best ways to improve your relationship is to get the money thing figured out, along with a healthy dose of honestly regarding the money thing. I know that’s not something Kim K has to worry about, but for the rest of us, it’s a good idea.
what did I want to be when I grew up when I was a kid? I vaguely recall wanting to be a teacher or an artist of some sort, or maybe both. College taught me that although I’m a great draftsman, I’m terrible at freehand drawing. Not to mention being fairly introverted and frustrated by children. So art and middle school teacher were out.
but not so fast. I teach Sunday School to 7 year olds, and could probably pick up some private music students if I wanted. I blog like a mad woman, and still love architecture. . . and that’s art, right?
so I guess I’m still getting there.
Thanks Andrea! 🙂
I think the realities of becoming most of the things we dream of being, either as kids or as adults, are often sobering and they are what keep us from truly becoming those things. I do think part of becoming a “grown up” is the acceptance that some dreams need to be laid aside if we are not going to make the commitments necessary to fulfill them. You aren’t going to become a writer if you don’t put in daily time writing. You aren’t going to be an artist if you don’t practice and create. In the end it is all “work” and I think it is okay to come to that place where you decide, “hey, I’m not willing to put in the work on this one so I’m going to let this one go”.
Okay, off that tangent.
When it comes to things that involve creativity, like being an “artist”, I think we all have the ability to pursue that to some degree, but again only if we are willing to put in the time, and if we are willing to broaden our definitions of what an “artist” is. I consider anyone who puts in time creating things to be creating “art”. And often I think people don’t pursue this dream because they aren’t able to look at the steps of becoming and instead want to emerge this fully formed artist. Other than those rare freakishly talented folks, this just ain’t gonna happen.
As for the money thing, one of the many reasons I am so sold on Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover is that it is a way of life, not some get rich quick scheme and not some shell game of moving money around. And as a life plan it incorporates the idea that certain personality types like to spend money and it allows for giving yourself permission to have “blow money”, even while you are working on debt reduction. It is the most freeing and the simplest financial plan I’ve ever seen and I am walking proof that it works wonders.
I totally agree that sometimes dreams need to be put aside to make room for new ones or just because the time isn’t right yet.
When we decided to actually follow through on the Dave Ramsey plan, it was amazing how much the world changed for us. All sorts of possibilities became apparent. We started deciding how we were going to live our lives rather than having our lives dictated to us.
That is exactly it, Raun. I hadn’t realized how much I was giving control over to others, and also how much control I was giving to whims rather than just exhibiting some self-control. We were making good money but we weren’t making it work for us. It is amazing how quickly we got big chunks of our debt paid off simply by creating and sticking to a budget. And the “sacrifices” have truly not been that monumental but the peace of mind of no longer living paycheck to paycheck and always having lots of money left over at the end of the month is priceless.
At one point elaina said she wanted to be a monkey when she grew up. Now she wants to be a hair dresser.
I’d steer her back towards being a hair dressing monkey if I were you! Definitely a unique career path for a very unique little girl. 🙂
love this post Carl. so well-written, so lovely.
I appreciate the getting out of debt living within your means adventure; and I especially like the way in which you speak about your wife. I hope you are able to fulfill your dream of certification and find opportunities to scuba-dive. Truly, I hope you find pleasure and blessings in all your adventures.
I do too. Snorkeling in the ocean was such an amazing experience. I’ve often said that if I lived in Hawaii I would have to either be independently wealthy or would have to be on the dole, as all I would want to do all day would be to float in the water face down, watching the life of the ocean go about their business.
Again bringing up Dave Ramsey, I love his idea that you should “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” Worked into his budgeting system is the idea that in order to attack your debt you will need to make some sacrifices now, but if you make those and learn to live debt free then later you will be able to live a much better life because you’ll have money to do the things you used to go into debt to do.
Love it!
I’m with you on books, my man. I’m quite a bit older (66), but when I was a kid I remember hearing that books were like ships, in that they could take you anywhere. I have been an avid reader all my life, and I really do agree with that assessment of books. In fact last night I managed to go all the way back to when the Mayflower made the trip across the Atlantic by opening a book by Nathaniel Philbrick.
I definitely agree Joe! Love the comparison of books to ships. It all seems very corny to non-readers, I would imagine, and probably even to some readers. But I’m more than willing to be accused of being corny, or of being overly sentimental, because that is just the way I truly feel.
OMG.. i was still in High School (the one room sort) when Shepard made his famous 15 minute flight.. it was put over the speakers.. but never once did I want to be an astronaut! I can’t go up 3 steps on a step ladder so would I want to go to the moon? ahhh that would be a no heh.
like you but not like you but like you.. i travel in the books..but I have to admit that I never thought I’d wind up under the streets of London in opium dens with Dickens and Collins!… the moon sounds better and better … lol
The heights wouldn’t get me, but I suspect I would actually be really claustrophobic both in the kind of tight environment of the space shuttle or those space capsules, and also in a submarine in the ocean depths. Desire and ability certainly don’t always match up, do they?
You point out the other kind of adventures you can have in books, the dangerous kind that give you a little thrill without exposing you to the real danger! 🙂
This is such a reminder that the inner journey is so much more exciting than the outer one!
It is, Bonnie. It really is. 🙂
Thanks for the great post and thanks for adding your voice to the Blog Off crew. I too am a lifelong reader and I cannot imagine a life without books. And man oh jeez are you going to love SCUBA!
Thanks Paul, I’m glad James got me turned on to doing this. I wait with anticipation every two weeks to see what the next topic is going to be.
An interesting ride and some great path choices. I suspect the next 43 will be fulfilling.
That is my expectation as well, Sam. Thank you!
What an interesting post. I think you are one of the world’s great explorers!
Thank you. I think we all have to potential to be just that but instead we stumble through life unaware of the adventures awaiting us each day.
I’ll try to be brief. (uh-oh) I was the one who saved when friends were buying cars and going on vacation trips. Two weeks in Europe? Nope, I put that money in a retirement account. At age 28. The only things I spent much on were CDs, books and gardening, and I tried to be frugal there too. I always keep cars 15-20 years, then pay cash for the next one. I paid off my first house in 9 years by making triple payments while friends bought clothes, bought bigger houses, bought yet another car or leased a new one every 2-3 years. I didn’t make a lot of money as a social worker, but had $90,000 in the bank when most of my friends had $2,000. I admit not having children was a big part of debt-avoidance, but that was a conscious decision too. The payoff? When I retired 5 years ago I had enough money and equity, in spite of the falling real estate market, to be able to put 60% down on a really nice home in the place where I wanted to retire, Portland, OR, and money to settle in and make some changes I wanted, like a re-landscape and built-in book cases. I have manageable expenses and live comfortably. I don’t miss the vacation trips, new cars, fancy stuff, extravagant purchases that I skipped over the years. Not at all!
I know that wasn’t brief, but the point is that the future does come, and for those who exercise foresight and common sense it’s worth some sacrifices to make it a good one.
Brevity is overrated Richard, and when you have great stuff to say like that then there is certainly no need to be brief.
My parents have always lived life the way you described. For whatever reason I didn’t inherit their wisdom nor did I see any need to practice it. It really took me getting miserable with where our life was at and where it was heading financially to get to the point where I was willing to make a change. And much to my surprise the incredible sense of freedom that immediately set in when I made that change was all the motivation I needed to make this a lifestyle. Sure, I still spend money unwisely at times, but when I do it is essentially “allowance” money and we are talking small bits of money not the hundreds of dollars I sometimes used to rack up on credit cards simply because I had them and didn’t want to exercise self-control. Over the last 3 years of doing this we’ve managed to decrease a large amount of debt, have built up our savings account, have always had budgeted pots of money to deal with car repairs, home repairs, etc. It has been great. Actually planning ahead for the inevitable bad things brings such peace of mind that when they do happen there is no stress.
Do I love it when I suddenly need to put $500 into car repairs? No, but I don’t bat an eye at it when I actually have the money in the bank earmarked in my budget for just such an eventuality.
Our goal is to be in the same place financially that you and your wife are now when we reach retirement age. And though we got a slow start we both make good money and we will soon be making up for lost time with our retirement accounts, etc. All this stuff that I once thought was “boring” is all terribly exciting now. And if I can just help my daughter and her future husband avoid the mistakes that we made I will feel like I have accomplished something.
Thinks about this: try budgeting to live on just one of your incomes, the largest one, and putting the other either into paying off debt or reducing the mortgage. That will be an indicator of how things might look on a pension or annuity, or both. Building equity isn’t part of the equation with home owning these days, but you have to have a roof over your head. You’re making excellent progress, congratulate yourself!
Thanks!
Tackling the home and building up a 6 month emergency fund (6 months of income) are our next big steps to be sure. We are slowly in the process of having our 19 year old daughter take over her own healthcare and car insurance, her medical copays and many of the other stuff we used to pay for. We figure her being able to live at home “free” now that she is out working gives her the opportunity to start paying for the other stuff herself. Helps take the budgeting, which she is very good at, into more of a reality based budget.
Once we get through with this credit card debt we are going to sit down and completely rework our budget to see just how close we can come to having one income to live on and the other freed up for building the emergency fund and paying off debt. Want to also be putting a pretty significant amount into a Roth IRA in addition to what we already have in work retirement accounts.
Sounds great!
Great post Carl! I’m glad to be a part of your great adventure from time to time. Also, Mary and you are doing great on Dave’s plan. You have a lot to be proud of with your financial turnaround.
It has been a long overdue yet very enjoyable ride getting on the Dave Ramsey plan. Thank God over and over for that, I don’t know where we would be (in a BIG mess) right now if not for the timing of getting on the plan.
Happy to share the adventure of life with you too, my friend.
I really liked this post, Carl. With the economy the way it is and my currently unemployed status in a field with a very high unemployment rate, life can sometimes be discouraging, so it is very nice to be reminded that our occupation (or lack thereof) doesn’t have to completely define us or limit our ability to truly enjoy life. Thank you for the reminder, and for the optimism!
That is so true, Amanda. And you are very welcome. It is certainly much easier to be optimistic when you are pulling in a paycheck and living within a budget, but I’m hoping that even during down times I will continue to be an optimist.
A great post, Carl. I love the prompt, and plan to tuck it away for some future writing. And scuba!!?? Such a coincidence… I am right now working on my certification in Open Water Diving. I’ve signed on to a coral monitoring expedition next summer, off the Yucatan Peninsula. We will have to talk! Sounds like all is well with you – I am glad to hear.
Lovely to visit, as always.
Thanks Kerry! I’m very excited for you and your certification, that is fantastic. I imagine that trip will be amazing. Hope you plan on taking pics.
What a great answer. Funny, how when we were kids, the not-too-distant future didn’t seem like it was going to be so similar to what we already knew (although, amazing we never saw the likes of George Jetson blogging). You’ve given me much to think about. I didn’t know that marine biologist existed as a career option when I was a kid, but if I had, I might have been interested, mainly for the same reasons you note, though, not necessarily because dissecting sea creatures would be my thing. I agree whole-heartedly that opening any book is a grand adventure and a great way to explore, not a cop out answer at all. And thank you for helping me see that identifying myself as a “Christian” is also an adventure. I never would have thought of that on my own. As a certified scuba diver, I can guarantee you’ll love it once you do it. I snorkeled for the first time on my honeymoon in Hawaii and signed up the next day for a resort course in scuba diving. Came home and signed up for the course to get certified and have never looked back (although, I too, live in an area where I don’t get to do it too often, since I like warm-water diving with clear visibility).
The painting in the header is absolutely beautiful.