Happy 113th birthday to Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen, more commonly known as The Red Baron. Despite dying at the age of 25, Richthofen had an astonishing 80 victories to his credit (this during a time when 20 kills would bring hero status). Despite his fame Richthofen is probably best remembered in my generation due to the genius of Charles Schulz and his most famous creation’s legendary battles with the Red Baron.
These battles were played out in comic strips, cartoons and, thanks to the Royal Guardsmen, in song (you can listen to a clip of the song farther down on this site). I credit my interest in WWI aircraft to my childhood love of Snoopy and most especially these imaginary aireal battles.
“And now for something completely different…”
It is Monday morning and no one really wants to be working right now, whether at the job or at home. We all want to pretend that it is Sunday afternoon and that we are sharing a glass of (insert favorite beverage here) with good friends and having earth shattering conversations. Conversations about topics like the following:
I saw this on Jay’s site and thought it would be another fun exercise. I followed the links back and discovered that the idea is to pick 5 things from the following list and to write about them. Jay’s answers are fun and I would suggest clicking on the link as she’ll give you a nice Monday morning chuckle. I have changed this list ever so slightly from the list I found on the original meme and I’m not concerned about the number of them that you pick. 5 is what you should shoot for. If you do more, great, if you do less, also great because its the participation that counts. So, here is the list followed by my answers. (feel free to add your own if you don’t want to use these)
Choose your poison…
If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be an artist…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be a store owner…
If I could be an explorer…
If I could be an inn-keeper… I would run an inn somewhere in the wine country in California. One that sat on a hillside overlooking vineyards with a view of the ocean in the background. The inn would have a very Tuscan look and feel. Every room would afford private, romantic views and large jacuzzi tubs with one-way glass so you could look over the beautiful scenery while taking long, relaxing baths. I would have the best chef that money could buy and wonderful wines to suit the tastes of every guest. Upon reserving a room there would be an extensive application that let my staff get to know your likes, etc. so that your stay would be uniquely catered to your specific desires. Pampering and privacy would be the name of the game. Ideally you would arrive with very little luggage because the inn would provide you with tailor made outfits, books of your choosing, etc. to make your stay pleasant and relaxing.
If I could be a store owner… I would own a tremendously large bookstore with several floors each decorated differently to reflect various architectural and design elements that I enjoy. The bookstore would be large enough to have what each person wanted. There would be a large used book section, a computer games section, a music and movies section, and a comics section all stocked with current but also old and out of print titles. I would have a section of rare, collectible books displayed carefully behind glass. I would scour the world for old antique bookshelves and comfortable furniture would be in abundance. The store would have a wonderful cafe with coffees and teas and light food and desserts. I would staff it with people who loved books and would pay them a wage that made them love to be at work sharing their joy of reading with the customers. Each staff would have their own ‘staff recommends’ shelf to put books, music, etc. on. I would also have an extensive computer system in order to assist customers in finding any books that we might not have. I would also want to stock various collectible items and art from people that I and my staff enjoy. This would be a one-stop haven for all your cultural needs.
If I could be a musician… I would want to play the piano, guitar and violin proficiently. Of course in order to truly enjoy the violin I would have to be able to morph into an attractive woman whenever I played so I could stand in front of a mirror to watch myself play. 🙂
If I could be a writer… I would want to write books for both children and adults and I would want to illustrate these as well. I would want to be an author who reinvented himself with each novel yet retained a style that is distinctly my own. I would want to create rich and imaginative worlds that people loved yet I wouldn’t want to be Stephen King famous. I would want to have a good sized following and be the kind of author whose books were magical to each person that discovered them and passed them on to others. I would want to tour occasionally to meet readers and have a comfortable retreat for me and my family to live where I could write (once again) overlooking vineyards and trees and water. A magical place that would be an inspiration to all my writings.
If I could be an artist… I would want to be able to devote my full time to this and not have to work art into the space between jobs. I would want to draw comics, illustrate books and paint and work with Photoshop and create 3 dimensional work. I would not want to be limited in any way except for the limits of my imagination. I would want my art to inspire others and I would want to be able to have opportunities to talk with fans, aspiring artists, etc. to encourage and motivate them. I would want to be able to give of my artisitic works to others.
That’s my 5…I may throw bonnie-pirate into the comments section as I feel bad letting that one slip by. Again, make up your own if you don’t like any on the list. Have fun and Happy Monday!
I also was introduced to the Red Baron through Snoopy’s adventures in Peanuts. What a great comic strip. My favorites are Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes though. They are quite different but each hiliarious to me in there own ways. Someday I would like to own the Giant Treasury editions of both ( Far Side’s is out now $ 150 and Calvin’s comes out this fall ).
If I could be a scientist I would work as hard as possible to discover the cures for cancer and other almients that effect children. It tears me up to see kids in pain and especially the children who are dieing of cancer. I have two young children and thank everyday they are healthy for the most part ( son has asmatha ). I also lost my mother, a grandmother, and a grandfather to cancer and there is no worse feeling than to see a loved slowing wither away in pain from cancer. I don’t wish this diease even upon my worst enemy. I hate the fact that I see ads on TV on how drug companies (scientists) can can up with a pill to give someone an erection but that time/money/passion doens’t go towards cureing illnesses because drug companies can’t make a quick profit on it.
If I could be an artist I would be a painter. I have always enjoyed art and oil paintings are my favorite. I really need to get down to the Nelson and look at all the paintings again. I haven’t been in two years and that’s too long. I also have a Frazetta Painting with Fire DVD coming and it will be great to see the behind the scences of he creates his work. I also would love to learn Photoshop and be able to create my own work.
If I could be a writer I would write works of fiction. I love stories that take me away to other worlds and novels that tackle controversial subjects in different ways that make me think. I wouldn’t want to preach to people but to present them with subjects and get people to create there own opinions not just go along with what the media rolls out and tells us “people are thinking”. I would write stories for children, young adults, and adults because all ages need good stories which drive our creativity.
If I could be an explorer I would explore some of the last areas of the world we have yet to set foot in. Remote jungles and deserts. To be the first to discover new plants and animals would be incredible. It would also be fun to run into a tribe of people un-influenced by the world and try to communicate with these people. How interesting would be to be the first person to bring the outside world to a tribe. What subjects would I think to introduce to them and what would they be interested in. I imagine what they would ask or be interested in would not be what I expected. It would be the time of my life. It brings a smile to face just thinking of it. This was a good excersize Carl, thanks.
If I could be a bonnie pirate I could meet Johnny Depp right? I couldn’t pass up the fun and adventure of a pirate life. I matey! ARGH! Ho there land luber! Where be Jack Sparrow? See I already have the lingo down.:)
If I was a bonnie-pirate I think I would want to become a fictional pirate and either join the lads of the Scurvy Dogs crew (hilarious pirate comic) or sign up with The Pirate Captain (hilarious pirate novel) for one of his adventures. And in case you are wondering, its 139 days until National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Great post Jeff, some really insightful stuff there, especially in regards to ED and Cancer! I couldn’t agree more!
And remember, Pirates are the new monkeys!
I think I am too tired (or maybe I am a little too lazy) to write about five things tonight. I don’t mean too lazy to write, just too lazy to think about really running a shop or being a chef and cooking for all those folks in a hot, sweaty kitchen night after night. Can you tell I had a busy day at work?
Seriously…
If I could be a chef, I would cook wonderful meals for my family and entertain friends every weekend.
If I could be a linguist, I would eavesdrop on everyone’s conversation. Admit it, don’t you find yourself wishing your Spanish, German (fill in the blank) were good enough that you could understand the couple at the table next to you in the restaurant or understand the cute Mexican waiters at El Maguey’s? Julie and Karen know what I’m talking about. I try to talk to the waiters in Spanish and they go along with it, but I am sure it is only for a better tip, not because of my linguist ability.
One of my co-workers had the pleasure of sitting in a doctor’s waiting room and eavesdropping on a young man’s telephone conversation. The man was talking in English, and she heard him say (in German), “I am going to talk to you in German now because someone just walked into the room.” It was a very benign conversation, and of course, he didn’t realize that my friend had studied German for years (no, I am not talking about Dominique). It does sound intriguing to me to be able to switch languages in the middle of the conversation, don’t you agree?
If I could be a librarian, I would have to work harder to make faculty promotion at work. Instead, I work in a library and get all the benefits with less pressure. I love being around books, I get to meet great American and international college students, get to work on the committees I feel passionate about, and I supervise great staff members.
If I could be an innkeeper, I would have really felt sorry for Mary and Joseph and would have given them my room, which would have probably messed up some of the Old Testament prophecies, which just goes to prove that the obvious good deed isn’t always the correct good deed. (run-on sentence).
If I could be a store owner, I would have to go with bookstore just like Carl except…I think I would prefer a smaller place with lots of atmosphere. I am sure I wouldn’t make much money that way, but I just love the thought of a little store like “The Shop Around the Corner” in “You’ve Got Mail”. It was so cute and homey…
Hey Carl,
Thanks for the good wishes, I’ve been working on bottled nostalgia for quite some time, but it’s a very unstable chemical reaction and I’m convinced I’m missing an ingredient.
Any ideas?
And if it takes one last comment to get you cracking on reading HHGTTG, then I hope it’s this one!
I’m going, I’m going!!!
I think the missing ingredient may be oregano…or perhaps fairy dust but I’d try the oregano first.
(to see the genesis of this conversation, go to forgottenmachine’s site, read his last 50 items, and wish him a ‘happy birthday’)
Oregano!!!!
You may be on to something there!
Besides, I’ve run out of burial space for the fairy corpses…..
Well, keep trying! I find that I’m often nostalgic for things that were not a part of my specific past…old time sci fi, etc….things waaaaaay before my time. Which is okay, I guess but would be part of the fun of bottled nostalgia in that you could taste nostalgia for many different things. I like the following dictionary.com definition:
“A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.”
and this one:
“a wistful or excessively sentimental sometimes abnormal yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition”
I am looking for a business partner if you’re interested….
We could have a 101 Flavours on every corner!
Yes, but then there would be that whole battle over what to name it….Nostalgi-Cola, RC (Remember-when Cola), Liquid Memory Lane….
If I could be a writer….. …. I would write children’s stories. As an adult, I love reading children’s stories. I can go into a bookstore and stay for hours in the children’s section and look at all the books and imagine what fascinating adventures lie within each one.
If I could be a professor….. I would teach geography. When I was in college I took a geography class and I had the most interesting professor. Our classes basically consisted of him telling us stories about the culture and lifestyles in different countries all over the world. He didn’t teach from a textbook, which means he probably was full of it for the most part. But my teachings would involve actual visits to foreign countries with my students. Hey Carl, remember Mr. Lee? I just thought of him as I was typing this.
If I could be a top secret military agent…… I would have a job that no one else would be able to do. It would make me lots of money and I would not have to work often. But when I did work, my missions would be very dangerous, but very heroic. Of course, since this would be highly classified, my heroism would only be known by few, which makes it all the more cooler!!
Well I better get back to my real job. If I think of anything else, I will update my comment!!!!!
Perhaps, as I don’t see as much hope for Paul & Carl’s as much as Ben & Jerry’s
(or Carl & Paul’s, the fact that I put my name first is no indication as to my business intentions……)
oh ye of little faith, Paul…… 🙂 We just wouldn’t want to call it PC Cola as that would either bring political correctness or computer geekiness to mind….and CP Cola wouldn’t be that great either….”what’s the CP stand for? Cerebral Palsy?!?!?”….
Abby, how could I possibly forget Mr. Lee. He taught my independent study course of American Literature my junior year…that is the one that I have no memory of at all as I did not read either The Great Gatsby or To Kill A Mockingbird but somehow got an A in the course. I think it was because I was working on the yearbook for him during that same period and he let me slide. To this day the thought of reading either book…though I know they are reportedly great pieces of literature….just makes me shudder!
impressive. props to the red baron. he had more hits then elvis.
would you really turn into a woman to play the violin? I’d rather watch you on piano ala tori amos in that case. of course I’d like an artist’s rendering of what you look like as a woman before I start having any sort of daydream about it.
as far as the replies on this blog- they are by far the longest I have seen. you have got some dedicated friends and fans. congrats on that.
nice work. and thanks for letting me peek around…
cheers.
I am blessed with dedicated readers, all of which are friends in my immediate vicinity or people that I’ve met on the net that I consider friends…I treasure all their comments dearly and have fun on their sites as well.
Thanks for the comments, you’re welcome anytime!
Carl, repeat after me: “I am not addicted to reading my blog comments. I have a job to get up to later this morning. I’m going to go to bed now.”
See, that wasn’t so hard, huh?
LOL!!! No, but I am addicted to new PC games that keep me up until all hours…..and then, of course, I have to check my blog just before bed!
C-man, did you miss the irony of my comment? For of course, I commented at 2:26 in the AM. Therefore, one could easily claim that I too suffer from blog addiction.
But that one would be wrong! I’m addicted to Mac OS X Tiger, baby! Woo-Who!!! This thing rocks. 😀
Very well done my dear; I quite appreciate the “participate!” sentiment that you leave us with.
No irony lost on me….we all know that you’re even more of a night owl than me because of your past 3 a.m.-ish posts/comments…
If I were a lawyer I would have to be a prosecuting attorney in criminal law.
If I were a writer I could finish writing my book without worrying about what it says about me that my murderous villian is unspeakaby vile, yet springs from my own imagination.
If I were an inn-keeper I would go for something more low-key, a B&B at the beach, without fancy bells and whistles, just comfy beds in quiet rooms, lots of hot water, and hearty food!
If I were a doctor I would be considerate of my transcriptionists…wouldn’t dictate while eating, driving, blowing my nose, yawning, etc.
If I were a chef I would be hard-pressed to choose one speciality…Mexican, Italian, European bistro, or just flat-out decadant pastry chef!
If I were a pilot (I know, it’s not on the list) I would fly lifeflight helicoptors.
Great list Suzanne! And good for you for adding your own occupation to the list!
So, you’re a writer…you’re actually writing a novel??? That is SO COOL! And you’re a closet murderer at that! 😉
Prosecuting attorney! I don’t think I could ever do that. I wouldn’t have the patience to rein in my temper if some obviously guilty person got off…and couldn’t live with the guilt of thinking that it was somehow my fault…
Are you suggesting I might lose a case?!? Tsk, tsk, tsk..you’ve clearly never had the (dubious) pleasure of hearing me argue my position. I can be mighty persuasive and (occasionally) charming!
I suggested that “I” might lose a case…you attorneys, always putting words in people’s mouths!!! 🙂
I notice, however, that you didn’t deny that closet murderer comment!
With your demonstrated attention to detail you would make an excellent juror! Alas, as to being a closet murderer I try not to waste time denying what can so easily be disproven. My villain is giving me grief! So wicked, so despicable that it puts me in a bad mood if I think about it for too long. And because I chose to set the story in my adopted hometown, I feel conflicted about having unleashed this (fictional) hateful individual on my community. As far as I know I don’t have any latent hostility towards anyone (I’m getting mellow in my old age) this character just sprung to life fully formed and compelling but creepy as all get-out!
Sounds interesting! Hope you keep at it, grief be damned!!!
If I could be a photographer, I’d like to take environmental portraits of people that show the beauty of their lives instead of highlighting that they don’t conform to society’s ideal.
If I could be a lawyer, I would have to be a prosecutor. I’d hate to be a defense attorney and there’s no way I’d enjoy suing on behalf of clients who can’t figure out that hot coffee is hot.
If I could be a researcher, I could study all those things that make me ask “why is that?”
Then I could be an author to write about all those cool things that I learned as a researcher. I’ll throw a novel in there too, if I can figure out how to write dialog.
Then I could be a professor and get paid to tell other people about all those cool things that I researched and wrote about. But I’d be the professor you want to get, not one that you put off until the very last minute.
If I could be a world-famous blogger…you mean I’m not?
You got me started blogging so you’re world famous to me!
What’s with you sisters and being lawyers? It would only be fun if one of you was a prosecutor and one a defense attny and you had amazing court battles….there’s your novel right there!
I think you’re already a photographer so there’s no sense in you not pursuing #1! 🙂
That’s so sweet! Thank you. (The first and last things you said.)
Suzanne and I don’t agree on everything, but we would have a tough time being on opposite sides of a criminal case. Let’s face it…when you’re right, you’re right. 🙂