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Blog Advent Day 24: The result of too much eggnog?

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It is the final day of the Blog Advent Tour 2008, hosted again this year by Kailana. Kailana had a very fun idea that we did not really have time to execute together fully and so I used the framework of her idea to come up with this bit of Christmas nonsense that she also joined in. Perhaps catering to my own brand of humor wasn’t the best idea. Ha! 😉 Please forgive me (us).

Imagine that it is Christmas Eve. The house is quiet but for the sound of an overweight gift-giver sliding down the chimney. As he tumbles into the room he accidentally dislodges your carefully stacked piles of DVDs, magic dust from his bag of toys (for how else could that sack constantly be refilled with toys?) drifts in amongst them. Perhaps some of that magic would stir characters to life and perhaps those films, particularly the Christmas ones that were near the top, would find their movie-worlds colliding with each other. Let us join a humble news reporting frog as he tries to get to the bottom of all this:

Kermit: “Hi ho, Kermit T. Frog here, I am speaking to you today from what appears to be a version of Charles Dickens’ London. We are on location hoping to interview the hero of our story, one Ebeneezer Scrooge.”

(Bill Murray enters stage right, humming Sonny and Cher’s ‘I Got You Babe’): “I heard you were looking for me kid. ”

Gonzo (wandering into frame): “Say, have either of you guys seen a rat–furry, nervous, constantly eating?”

Bill Murray: “Would he in any way resemble a gopher?”

Gonzo: “Only if he doesn’t stop eating. Say, you look familiar!”

Bill Murray: “Of course, Scrooge here. The little green lizard here is trying to sell me car insurance, I believe.”

(Kermit starts fuming in the background)

Gonzo: “Couldn’t be. The Scrooge in this picture doesn’t look like you, he looks an awful lot like that guy” (points to Michael Caine dressed as a butler who wanders across the screen mumbling something that sounds like ‘Master Bruce?’)

Kermit (screaming while waving arms wildly overhead): “Would you all get out of here!” (Bill Murray drives off in golf cart with three female agents and Gonzo wanders off following a particularly alluring chicken).

Kermit: “As I was saying, I am speaking to you today from…”

(Kermit interrupted as Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade floats begin to jostle him and knock him down).

(Just as he begins to regain his footing, is confronted by a giant balloon version of himself. Faints)

Jack Skellington (popping in suddenly from off-camera sings): “What’s this, What’s this…” (is quickly pulled off camera by giant hook)

(Parade ends with drunken Santa being horsewhipped by the real Santa Claus.)

Natalie Wood (coming behind the parade, kisses Kermit, reviving him and wanders off reciting): “I believe, I believe. Its silly but I believe”.

Kermit (shaking, dusts himself off and prepares to begin again): “Hi ho (less enthusiastically), Kermit T…”

(Stops suddenly as his reporter hat is apparently shot off his head)

(Ralphie enters screen, stage left, Red Rider BB gun in hand): “You haven’t seen my glasses anywhere have you?”

Rizzo the Rat (popping up from below, mysteriously wearing broken glasses): “Perhaps for a bit of left-over turkey I could help you find those glasses.”

Ralphie: “Outta luck there.”

Rizzo: “Oh, Fuuuuuuuuuuuudge!!!”

(Middle aged woman enters screen carrying bar of Life Boy, followed by Gonzo carrying a sexy leg-shaped Major Award. She drags Rizzo off-stage, Ralphie and Gonzo follow).

Kermit: “Dare I even try to–Oh good grief!!!”

Charlie Brown (walking through, small tree in hand): “Hey frog, don’t be stealing my line, its the only thing I’ve got. I’ve found your Scrooge for you.”

Kermit: “Great, so Ebeneezer Scrooge, tell us what it is like to speak to spirits from beyond.”

(offstage we hear a voice that sounds an awful lot like a Wookie playing a trombone)

Kermit: “You’ve got to be kidding, how am I supposed to understand that?”

Charlie Brown: “And people think I’m a blockhead. Scrooge, let’s get out of here!” (Charlie Brown exits)

(Don Cheadle and Nicholas Cage drive past in a flashy sports car, “And dance by the light of the moon” blaring on the radio)

Kermit: “I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, it seems that I no longer have a reason to be here speaking to you and if you had any sense you would already have tuned in to another blog, er, station.”

(A bell rings, far off camera we hear a voice saying, “atta boy, Clarence!”)

(Disgusted, Kermit walks off camera, followed by a talking snowman and an elf with dental implements)

Goblin (Popping up from below camera): “I say, does anybody want to play a game of Scrabble?”

(As the scene fades on the witching hour of Christmas eve, we see a blinking red light in the foggy night sky, Fred Astaire drives by in a mail truck, snow begins to fall…and all is right with the world.)

Or is it? Hop on over to Kailana’s site for the conclusion to this very wacky Christmas eve drama.
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Well, all I can do is apologize for that. There are a number of movies referenced in here, not all of them Christmas movies. Just for fun, if you want, don’t look at the comments and see if you can name them all. I counted 17 (in my section of the tale). A few are kind of obscure and a few could be either a movie or its sequel and either guess would count. I’m not giving anything away for this other than the pleasure in a good Christmas quiz. But, the winner of the giveaway of an autographed copy of Zanna’s Gift by Orson Scott Card (as announced in the last post) is:

S.G. Taylor!!! Congrats, email your address to me (cvincent68 at comcast dot net) and I’ll get this little gem in the mail to you.

Thank you, Kailana, for hosting the Blog Advent Tour again this year, it has been a pleasure to share the final day with you once more. I promise we’ll do something better together next year. 🙂

I hope all of you have a very, Merry Christmas. I care deeply about all of you and truly wish you all the very best this holiday season. May your days truly be merry and bright.

30 thoughts on “Blog Advent Day 24: The result of too much eggnog?”

  3. Me too Kailana, you had a great idea. It was really fun doing something different. I look forward to seeing what you cook up for next year.

  6. So…who is going to be the first to try their hand at guessing the 17 movie references in my post? Come on brave souls, I know you can do it.

  9. This was really well done Carl! Merry Christmas to you and all of your family!!

    I think I got 10 of the movies but then I’m not to bright.. some I got (not necessarily in order ) are: A Christmas Carol, Scrooge, ground hog day, batman, miracle on 34th st, nightmare before christmas, christmas story, muppets christmas, charlie brown christmas, it’s a wonderful life and Frosty the snowman… I do hope you eventually list them! lol

  13. wooh, cool, an unexpected gift. i’ll get my addy to you here momentarily. Hope you and yours have a wonderful Holiday!

    cheers, later – susan

  15. On a totally different note, Carl, did you get Spectrum 15 this year?

    Let’s see, you have:
    Muppet’s Christmas Carol
    Scrooged
    Groundhog Day
    Batman
    Charlie’s Angels
    Nightmare Before Christmas
    Miracle on 34th Street
    The Christmas Story
    Charlie Brown
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    Frosty the Snowman
    Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, maybe? The elf wanted to be a dentist…
    Maybe Family Man?
    Labyrinth

    I have no idea on the Fred Astaire reference, but I will probably feel stupid when you reveal it! I also don’t know what I am missing…

    I wonder how many references are in mine?

  19. Merry Christmas Carl. I hope you are having a wonderful holiday with family and friends, and safe travel!
    It has been a fun, blogging, year. Thank you.
    (Sorry – I can’t even attempt the movie challenge.)

  20. Wonderful script…er, Advent Tour post! List the movies…hmm…

    Muppet Christmas Carol
    Scrooged
    Batman Begins
    Caddyshack
    Miracle on 34th Street
    Nightmare Before Christmas
    Trading Places (or Bad Santa?)
    A Christmas Story
    A Charlie Brown Christmas
    Star Wars Christmas Special
    The Family Man
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    (Goonies?)
    Santa Claus is Coming to Town

    Fun! Merry Christmas!

  22. Okay, here is what I came up with when counting movies after finishing this. Keep in mind that I was pretty tired when I did the counting:

    1. Muppet Christmas Carol
    2. Scrooged
    3. Groundhog Day
    4. Caddyshack
    5. Batman Begins or The Dark Knight
    6. Charlie’s Angels (either one)
    7. Miracle on 34th St
    8. Nightmare Before Christmas
    9. A Christmas Story
    10. Charlie Brown Christmas
    11. A Family Man
    12. Its a Wonderful Life
    13. Star Wars (any of the original trilogy would work)
    14. Labyrinth
    15. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
    16. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town
    17. White Christmas

    Star Wars Christmas Special was an excellent guess and I would certainly count that as a right answer in place of Star Wars. Not sure where the Gremlins reference would come in but would love to know, same with Trading Places and Bad Santa. Frosty the Snowman is perfectly acceptable in place of Rudolph as I was thinking of the Burl Ives snowman in that one when I typed it but obviously Frosty is more well known and would work.

    The Fred Aistaire reference is from Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer. He narrates and his stop motion caricature drives the mail truck to the north pole. Oh I love that show!!!

  24. Kailana: Don’t feel bad, it wasn’t obvious to me at first either, I put the Wookie thing in and didn’t even count it as a movie reference at first. It had an ‘oh, duh’ moment about it later on.

  25. Well, that’s good. I am glad you posted the list, though, I was having a very heated debate because I was positive that was a reference to Labyrinth and someone else said I was wrong, so you proved me right. lol The other references I got as soon as you said them, they just weren’t obvious to me!

  26. Kailana: Well, you can lord it over them now because you were right on. The scrabble quote is the last line in Labyrinth as the owl flies off and David Bowie’s final song plays over the credits.

  27. Actually though, now that I think about it, I think it is Sir Didymus that says the scrabble line. In fact I know it is. So, the goblin part was wrong even though the line was correct.

  28. I think I am going to have to see if I can get a copy of Labyrinth, now. Where it is an older movie it is probably cheaper to buy it than rent it.

    Also, you never did say, do you have Spectrum 15 yet? Thoughts? Oh, and did your comic friend say anything about the Patricia Briggs comics?

  29. I also participated in the Blog Advent Tour and was away on vacation when your day was up, so I just wanted to pop in and wish you a belated Merry Christmas and a HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂

    Louise

  30. I’m just now getting caught up. I loved yours and Kailana’s story! It was well written. What I wouldn’t give to have such a creative mind. I had figured out about half the movies. So much fun. Looking forward to the next one!

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